Sayangku udah nikah yang ceweknya baru
“I’m getting married,” words that I do not want to hear from Ichwanul. But I did.
I was sad and happy. I even called him after the so-called wedding hoping that he was joking or I just want to hurt myself more. The least I expect to feel happened. I was not angry. Others will call me “GAGA, MARTYR (uso pa pala yun!), SADISTA, and worst PATHETIC!” He even let me to talk to his wife. I assured his wife I will not communicate with him anymore (FYI: we never had a real break-up. we have cultural differences and other’s don’t like to trouble themselves about it. Thing’s would be complicated if he choose me that’s why he never promised me marriage.) I know I will not agree of it too if I were on her shoes.
Some may not understand my/ our situation. But every love story is unique in its sense. What’s important is that I still have his respect and loyalty and the friendship. He assured me no matter what, “I’m still your friend and I explained it to my wife that you’ll always be my good friend.” I told the girl I don’t want others to live out of other people’s misery. And if you really love a person, give him a chance to find himself/ start anew. You’ll never be happy if you wish that they too
feel your suffering. It’s selfish to act/ feel miserable, as the saying goes ‘MISERY LOVES COMPANY’.
I know I can live with that even if I lost him. I know I can still go on living, knowing he will no longer spend the rest of his life with me. Nobody can blame me and say I wasted my time with a person only to end up being alone. It’s easier to forgive a person when you felt he loved you back. Loving a person is the most wonderful thing that can happen to us. I fought for it to the very end. I may be the loser but I risked. That’s the essence of life. I’m freed. I may have lost the love of the lifetime or the TRUE LOVE as others called it. I know I will not cross that same path again, will never love the same again
Maybe some love doesn’t last, or just stay and still we go on our lives. I have felt a sudden death, as if my whole world stopped when I heard those words. But I’m not afraid what’s in store for me. I have faith in myself that I’m strong enough to risk. I just have to believe…
